Self Body Shaming Can Lead to Depression
Disclaimer: Let me start with a disclaimer. I am not a certified health doctor, trainer, dietician or anything of the sort. I’m just a Mama who’s trying to help. Contact your professional to help you in the areas you’re wishing to seek help.
Now that we’ve gotten the disclaimer out of the way let me share with the world my post from yesterday. Yesterday I posted on my personal IG page this transformation photo of myself with the messily caption, “No long post, just consistency is all I can say. Three littles later and a whole lot of restarts. This is me <3 ️”.
I sat with the thoughts and the praises from women and men congratulating me and liking the photo, to only think about what it took and how my caption serves no transparency at all. The before photo is from June 12, 2019. The after picture, well, as mentioned was from yesterday, October 5, 2020. Counting the days in between that’s a year, three months and five days.
So what drove me to write about this journey when it wasn’t a quick transformation? It’s the mental health and well being of everyone else. Everyone who may have looked at the post and shamed themselves for not being somewhere they wanted to be, or not being the body size or body type of someone else. Each and everyone of us are unique and we have unique journeys that’ll lead to so many different changes within our routines.
So as a moment of transparency and on my platform I wanted to share with everyone reading that what you saw in that transformation picture was just those two separate moments in my life. Over this year, three months and five days, now six days, I have started over. I’ve quit, yes quit. I’ve cried. I’ve shamed myself and talked down on myself. The praises from other people about how good of a job I was doing and how good I looked to have had three children wasn’t good enough. All of the times that I started and stopped it was because there was an event taking place, or summer was nearing and I wanted to look like the women on IG, or fighting to be a sexy wife for my husband, not really realizing how mentally draining and unhealthy that was.
What I didn’t share in my post is that I now have the time and flexibility that I never had a year ago. Yes, I’m a wife, a mother of three and on top of that I had a career that I was trying to excel at, but only falling short, because I was mentally defeated. In the left picture, I was a woman who was empty and all poured out from giving so much of me that I didn’t have much to give to myself. I started working out May 25, 2019, but I didn’t capture the before pictures then. I’m sure they wouldn’t have been pleasant to my eyes then anyway, but I’m thankful for what I captured in June. Why? Because I was able to see all of the weight I was carrying then. You see everyone on social media saw a physical transformation, but my transformation has been from the inside out. Quitting my corporate job because I felt like I was putting out way more than I was receiving was a weight released. Losing a car, that I knew if I quit that job I couldn’t afford. Which turned into the reason for me staying at the job longer than anticipated. Which, thankfully was wiped away from my credit, due to someone crashing into it while it was parked on the street and I was out on the river trying to create content for my platform. I’m sure you probably went back and reread the beginning of that sentence with me saying thankfully. Hahaha the day of the accident and weeks after losing the car I was in the same angry mindset, but now I can say thank you because it was my way out. My moment to let go of the things that were weighting me down and keeping me in a suppressed state. Not only that, God kept me out of harms way. I was not in the car when the driver rammed into my right side. I was right where God needed me to be. Out of harms way.
When people tell you that you have to change your mind before you can change anything physically, they weren’t lying. This weight journey is for me. My happiness, it’s for me. Being healthy on the inside and looking pretty good on the outside, it’s for me. Understanding that sadness will creep in, but knowing how to refocus and re-channel those thoughts won’t be foreign to you when you’ve identified how to grab hold to your happiness.
I have a routine that I follow and I’m happy to share it, but I truly believe that until you’re mentally in a state of happiness you’ll be starting over and restarting because your mind needs to be set free.
My routine:
-Walk 5 miles per day
-20 min HIIT or focus on a portion of my body for a week, yes a week, the idea isn’t to be able to do the most exercises, but to do the exercises that I choose and do them well with focus on my form and endurance (ex. 1 week Upper body, 1 week legs, 1 week core etc.)
-Lowering my calorie intake during the week and eating higher calories during the weekend (this keeps me from feeling like I am dieting)
-Sleep, get some rest your body wasn’t meant to go 24/7 365
-LOVING ME! Love YOURSELF and show yourself some GRACE. It’s a marathon not a sprint!
Women that I follow for good workouts are @amberobics and @qui2health . I can’t leave out the good sermons I tune into with Pastor Toure’, Pastor Sarah Jakes, and Bishop TD Jakes. Positive inspiration is a huge part of my emotional and mental growth.
Praying for your mental health and stability during some of the wildest times we are facing! Peace. Love. Blessings.