Married to a Big Black Man

Desensitized to a lot of the out pour we see in our society. Not because I don’t have a care in the world, but because my heart can’t really take anymore pain. You see, I’m married to the big black man that society sees as a threat. I sleep with the man and make love to the man that society sees as dangerous when really he’s as gentle and loving as he is humble. The marks on his body that ink the words, with the hidden message of “I love you” dedicated to the closest members of his family and God himself, scare off people unwilling to get to understand that that’s just one of his ways of showing emotion and giving love.

Being married to a big black man brings me so much fear, fear that one day I’ll get a call that he won’t be making it home. Or that he has been detained for driving past the very place we rest our heads and our children play. I’m married to the big black man that I know for certain wouldn’t hurt a fly. How do I know this? Well because if I ask him to kill it, he’d rather nurture it out the door to it’s known habitat.

So why is it, that the very man I see value in and I love tremendously is the same man that society tears down and devalues? The same man they see as worthless and useless unless of course he’s being a yes sir or yes ma’am respondent. I’m not sure how as a black woman the expectation is for us to feel safe when this world is slaying the men that are our earthly protectors.

There’s value in you, you big black man. I see it. I see you. I’m sorry that society has gotten to your roots. You’re not gay if you cry. You aren’t soft if you try. You aren’t less than because you’re figuring things out or trying to piece together your own journey in life. I’m sorry that your image was tainted long before you were even born. My sympathy is with you, because in the end who is standing to protect you when you protect everyone else? Who makes sure that you’re okay and checks in on your mental health? It’s me. I’m here.

I may not have the body image of being strong, but what I have is the willpower to fight every wrong that comes near you. Willing to tear down and dismantle each and every enemy that tries to harm you. It’s me! I will love you and nurture you. I will raise your children to understand that they’re not impostors because of their beautiful skin, but my one requirement is that society keeps its hands off you so that we can do this together because if they end you they end us and that’s just not another win that I’m willing to let happen.

They try to create a narrative that we hate our men that we see each other as disposable, but I’m here to change that and tell them and you, I love you big black man. Society, if I used profane words there would be one here for you, but the fact of the matter is, you can’t have another one our men, because as a community we are sick of you and together we stand saying it one last time, Keep your hands off our men!